The Last Letter
by BrokenButNotCrushed
Summary: Because the ending words are always so much more important than the beginning. Slight SasuSaku. Characters deaths implied.


**Hello, dear readers. I'd like to start off by saying that this is my first story. Like...ever. So, since it's my first, constructive criticism is accepted, along with pointing out spelling errors and possible ideas to help make it better. Flames are okay...I guess...just don't make them too harsh, okay? You don't want me reading mean comments, getting emotionally upset, and living a life full of depression and void of any trace of happiness, do you? Of course you don't. =D**

**Btw (Which means by the way, not a wings place like BW3 as I had previously thought...hey, it looked like it. Give me a break.) I put it under T just to be safe. I don't really know if it should be under there or not. Shrugs**

**Summary: Because the ending words are always so much more important than the beginning. Sakura writes her final letter.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, nor do I pwn him. 

* * *

**

Dear Tsunade-shishou,

When you receive this letter, I will already be dead. I regret to inform you that it has not been done by the insane killer that has taken me hostage, but by my own self. I already know that you are disappointed. I can feel your saddened vibes reverberating up toward my place in heaven. At least, I hope that I'll be up in that paradise, but considering my choices in life, it probably isn't very probable. 

The reason of this letter is not only to say one last goodbye to you and my friends, but to inform you to stop with the trade. I could never live with myself if I knew that the very fact that I'm still alive and breathing is that Naruto sacrificed himself for me. I just couldn't cope with the idea. Hence why you are receiving this letter. 

If I had gone through with the trade…well it wouldn't have been very pleasant. I would sob every night until my dying body rested peacefully on the cold ground. My spirit has already been broken. Sasuke has been killed. My love. My life. My everything. Wasted away at the thought of bitter revenge. He knew that it wouldn't bring him happiness. It would just cause havoc on the village. He knew that. And yet, he still went through with it. His wasted life, dumped in the sands of time, disappearing in the chaotic winds, until his soul is nothing more but wisps of hurtful memories. He was already dead before he hit the floor, his soul tarnished beyond recognition.

But, as I write this letter and tears roll down my face, plopping on the parchment, I think, "Was it all worth it?"

Was "all what" worth, you ask, my dear friend? Was all of my life spent chasing an unreasonable dream worth it? Was this the outcome that I had expected? Certainly not. I hadn't even dreamt of such a thing. It was covered by false hope and childish fantasies and was shadowed by an everlasting dream. Now, I feel extremely foolish as I recall my fan-girling actions. All of that time, that precious time, stolen by my wild imagination of being Uchiha Sakura. The time could have been used training, getting better, finding my true self. But I was foolish. And that time was washed away and carried out into the vast ocean called life, sinking to the bottom called death, and buried into the sand called remorse. 

But I do not regret dying at this young age. I screwed up. And I had to pay the consequences. You probably won't like this decision of mine, but it's the only way to go. I know no other direction to turn to on this road of life. Heh, remember, Kakashi? You always made excuses when you showed up late and we all yelled at you. Until one day, we secretly tracked you down and saw you paying respects to your friend's grave. And then we stopped. It all just stopped. I guess it's kind of the same thing for me. 

As the old saying goes, "You don't know what you've got 'til it's gone." That remains incredibly true to the fullest extent. My life was dependent on Sasuke. My whole being was relying on him always being there. I just knew that he would rescue me out of this dungeon, this cell. He'd be my knight-in-shining-armor. Just like I had dreamed he would. And I yelled that to Itachi's face, defiantly. I told him that nothing he could do would stop me from believing that. I knew it would happen, I could almost taste my rescue. That is, until he brought my love's severed head on a stained plate, crimson blood flowing down into a swirling puddle of red. 

The vision that my eyes had beheld had haunted me in my dreams. I couldn't escape the nightmare, since it was equally as bad as being awake and knowing fully well that I had egged him into killing Sasuke. His last relation towards childhood. His very own brother! I was so disgusted with myself, and combined with the realization that I wasn't getting out of here alive, I crashed into a coma for a week.

It wasn't until after I had recovered, that I realized about the intended deal that Konoha had set up with Akatsuki. I knew that it had to be stopped, and this was the only way I knew how. My life isn't special, and no matter how much you or anyone else denies it, I won't accept a different answer. I'm not from a special clan, nor do I have a special blood limit. I don't have a monster sealed within me either that feeds me unlimited chakra. All I have is oddly bright green eyes, now dulled from the internal wars conceding within my mind, and strikingly shining pink hair, now filthy and grimy from lack of shower. I have nothing to show for except perfect chakra control, inhuman strength, and an Inner Sakura, who is currently annoying me as I write this, begging me to "Stop this suicide nonsense." 

You may not think it right now, but you know that deep down in your heart, this is the best way, because it's the only way. There's no other way to escape the bindings that are currently constricting my throat passage. I have already made my decision, and while you may not agree with it, you'll learn to accept my reasoning as an apology to all of those I hurt. That this wasn't an escape route from my inner torture, but to save a teammate, a friend, a brother. And in all reality, it really was.

Because I may have loved Sasuke to some extent, but it didn't run so deep that I'd give up my life when he lost his. This isn't a dramatic Romeo and Juliet play, ya know. (A/N: I had to read that this year. It took so long!) I knew it would eventually come down to brother against brother, battling out the long years of resentment and immense hate. I just didn't think it'd come this soon. And although Sasuke despised Itachi's very being, he never knew until it was too late that he became what he was trying to kill. A blood thirsty monster. And I came to the full realization that I didn't love him like I thought I had. Although I tried, dammit I really _tried_, I knew that I could never love a beast of evil, of so much _hate_ and _resentment_ bottled up inside and locked with a key to keep the cool façade going until it just _burst_-

…It was over before it began. And I _knew_ that it would never have worked out. That he wanted someone _strong_, someone _powerful_, someone _not weak_ that it just wouldn't work out in the end. But I kept up my pursuing in hopes that my reasoning was illogical and just doubt. True love conquered all. It would come out right in the end. I just _knew_ it. But then, like the first time, I was wrong once more.

After he killed off Sasuke, he went on to my parents. And just like the last time, he brought their heads on a silver platter, stained with blood. But unlike Sasuke's death, he didn't even have the decency to make them look somewhat presentable. Their mouths open, tongues lolled to the side, and their _eyes_, their _frightening eyes_, were open with a blank stare, still wide with terror. The emerald orbs had lost their spark, just like mine now, except there was a glossy exterior not unlike one in a dream-like state, that shimmered in the light with unfilled tears. 

They didn't even know what hit them until their minds were trapped in a dark world filled with grim images and haunting sightings. Their last image in the world was what they feared most, probably me cut up into pieces that lay on the floor, carelessly thrown around that weren't even worthy for a dog to eat. Not unlike what I soon will become when Itachi sees that his only hostage had given up her own life to save another, and probably millions if they ever got their filthy hands on the Kyuubi. And I knew that it was a warning to watch my step.

And now that I have explained myself to you all so that you won't grimace in disgust when my name is mentioned, I'd like to say my final goodbyes.

Tsunade. I am so sorry that I left you in this world without your advice on it. I am incredibly grateful and honored that I was your apprentice. You were my second mother. If you are disappointed, please forgive me. And don't drink yourself into an a coma. Trust me, it isn't fun waking up from one of those in the first place, but waking up while being completely wasted would be quite worse. And you'd have a hell of a hangover, too.

Ino. I'm sorry it didn't work out like you had hoped. I guess we both lost our unspoken war for the heart and love of Sasuke. But we probably both knew that neither of us would win anyways. I'm just sad that our friendship was broken by a boy that never had the capability to love in the first place. I am glad, though, that you're with Shikamaru. Unless you aren't _right now_, but you will be. I know it. Although I have been wrong before…but if this pushes you in the right direction, then I'm glad I helped. At least someone got over their love-sick crush.

And Naruto. Please. _Please _don't be angry with yourself. It wasn't your fault. It was my own decision to do this. You were the brother that I never had, and I'm thankful for it. You were always there with your cheerful grins to pick my spirits back up. You always said the right thing and always knew what to do, although you were a few kunai's short of a kunai set. But I still love you for it. So please, don't be mad. It was my own destiny. Yes Neji, I said it. Although I still don't believe in people's life already being planned out, but considering the outcome of my choices, it had to come down to this. But anyways, Naruto, while I'm not happy with how this had to turn out, I don't regret ever meeting you. Heck, I don't regret ever meeting anyone in the Leaf Village. It was my home, and still is, for that matter, and I love everyone in it.

I won't ever forget you, and I hope you won't think of me as a coward. I sometimes question myself and would always wonder what you guys would decide on. I just hope that you won't go to the base, asking for a fight just to get revenge for me. That is exactly what happened to Sasuke, and look how he ended up. His tattered head is currently starring at me, courtesy of Itachi plopping his head on my lap and me shrieking in terror. Now he rests on my desk, eyes wide open, starring at nothing in particular. He looks so indifferent, like he usually does. Well, did. Since he died. And won't ever come back. And I'll never get the chance to know the man who wasted away my childhood years and stole my memories of being happy again.

Dangit, I'm crying again. I told myself I wouldn't do this. Once again, I'm sorry to you all. Please find it in your hearts to accept me back in your memories, instead of blocking me out forever, even in your mind. If it weren't for you all, I wouldn't even have made it this far. But now, it must come to an end. I have to hurry before _he_ finds out, and before I lose my nerve. I have a messenger bird waiting to snatch the letter from my clammy and shaking hands. Once I stop writing, it shall be delivered to you. 

I wonder how it'll be in Heaven. That is, if I actually go there. I wonder if I'll meet Sasuke there. Maybe I'll see my parents. I'm not sure, but I know that I've dragged this out as long as I possibly can. Just remember that I love you all and wish happiness in all of your lives. 

Goodbye, my dearest friends.

_Haruno Sakura_

**

* * *

**

Well, how was it? I hope it wasn't so bad that your eyes are permanently blinded by the sheer horror that I called a story. If it was, I am eternally sorry. If it wasn't, then excuse me while I do my "Happy Dance." Reviews are graciously accepted. Along with criticism and ideas and errors and blah blah blah. You get it. Anything's good. Right now, I'm just testing the waters a little (If that's the appropriate phrase for it) so I'll be experimenting for a while. Hope you liked it, though.

_Panic_


End file.
